So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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