Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
