I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
