There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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