SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
