Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
