Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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