Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
where are my eyebrows?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
