Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I look better un-naked...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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