The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize