My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
