just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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