do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
