I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.