So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.