Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
