im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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