Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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