I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
