the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
