I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she smelled like a LAN party
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
