Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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