He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
