i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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