Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
