just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
