i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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