He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
