Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
