u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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