it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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