Quick, to the slutcave!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
