plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am available for nakedness
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
