I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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