Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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