he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize