For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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