problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
