Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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