How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
