My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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