but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
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Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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