bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
