I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
