Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
