I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
