Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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