I think I died a long time ago.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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