my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
