To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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