but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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