Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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