My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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