3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
