So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
