I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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